Warning: strtotime() [function.strtotime]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Denver' for 'MDT/-6.0/DST' instead in /home/bittwil2/public_html/libraries/joomla/utilities/date.php on line 56

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Denver' for 'MDT/-6.0/DST' instead in /home/bittwil2/public_html/libraries/joomla/utilities/date.php on line 198

JACK THE BITTERROOT BEAGLE REALLY TALKS

Written by Jack the Bitterroot Beagle

It might be hard to believe, but some dogs really can talk. I'm living proof. When I was a puppy I just barked and growled. However, when I was a couple years old something strange began to happen. Whenever I tried to bark, this noise came out of my mouth that sounded just like what comes out of humans. Initially, I just thought I was going through puberty. But it kept getting worse. I was in the kitchen getting ready for dinner one night when something outrageous happened. My mom was making my dinner, just as she always does. She placed my bowl on the floor and started to walk off. Just then my mouth opened and out of it came a loud, unusual sound "What's this, the same old dry dog food again! Come back here and cook me a steak!" My mouth no more than closed when I heard a blood curdling scream coming out of my mom. All four of my feet were running, but I wasn't going anywhere on that slick linoleum.  After what seemed like an eternity, my nails finally scratched through the floor and gave me the traction I needed to high tail it to safety. On my way up over the couch I heard my mom let loose again with, "Oh, my gosh, the dog can talk!" Well, after graduating from high school I enrolled in acting school. I starred in several films and even received an academy award for my movie, "The Golden Bone." A couple years later I was being interviewed by this middle school boy named Hunter Goligoski. Come to find out, he is from my hometown of Hamilton, Montana. During the filmed interview, Hunter told me that he is my voice. That's right, Hunter proved to me that he is the reason I can talk. He has apparently been doing voice overs for me for years without me being aware. I was upset at first. I really was! But then, Hunter and I got to be best friends. Now, we are inseparable, and we make one heck of a team. Sometimes, I look in the mirror when nobody is around, and see if I can talk by myself. I can't yet, but I haven't lost hope. < Prev   Next >